For some reason, every single time a Christian talks to me about my atheism and says “I’ve been praying for you,” they seem to do it like they’re doing me a favor.
You’re not doing me a favor. You’re kinda being annoying. Because I don’t believe in prayer.
Now, that’s not to say that I can’t see that you’re praying with the best of intentions, according to you. You may think that I, someone you care about, am going to hell. And you don’t think you can do anything about it but pray, and you want me to know that you care even as we disagree. In truth, praying for me is exactly what I’d expect you to do if you really thought I was going to hell and you cared about me. If I thought what you did, I’d be begging God not to let someone I love go to hell, either.
So that’s understandable, and I feel for you. But it’s still an irritating thing for you to say.
Because when you say it, more often than not, you’re ignoring me, the flesh and blood person in front of you, who is your friend and is fine. I’m not in danger of hell. I don’t need your prayers. I am alive right now, and I feel beautiful about it.
I’m not worried about God, because the truth is that there’s no God in this interaction at all. There’s just you, and me — friends talking to each other. We don’t need the opinion of an invisible skyman messing with that.
There’s no person who needs to be saved, and I’m not going to hell. And there are reasons why I think that’s the case — pretty darn good reasons — that you could actually hear if you stopped talking to your invisible friend and starting talking and listening to ME.
When you say you’ve been praying for my heart or soul or whatever, you remind me of what our relationship could be if you dropped that baggage and realized that prayer doesn’t really mean anything. If you’re someone close to me, it might make me feel a bit bad for you, honestly, but I’m fine. I’m OK. Really. I don’t need your prayers.
Far more than I’ll ever need your prayers, I need you to listen to that. I need you to put down your folded hands. I need you to stop closing eyes in determined ignorance and actually look at me, the flesh and blood human right in front of you. I need you to quit talking to your invisible friend and start talking to your real one.
I need your friendship more than I need your prayers.
“I’m listening to you” is so much more meaningful to me than, “I’m praying for you.”
Just so you know.
Thanks for reading.