(Sparked by my asking a conservative, in exasperation, if a single unemployed mother of three was worth more alive than she was dead on a rich man’s plate. He hesitated, and then avoided the question…which someone with a heart might find disturbing…)
[Super-Annoying Homeless Person. Courtesy of yeowatzup under Creative Commons License]
So, I had a revelation: we should stop giving unemployed people handouts. Because if you don’t work for it, you shouldn’t eat.
Basically, what we should do with all these unemployed people demanding handouts is…not give them a goddamn thing. Cause it costs money THEY haven’t EARNED.
And we don’t want them dirtying our streets.
(Ew.)
And we don’t want them panhandling.
(Ugh. So annoying.)
And prisons — ugh — that’s a handout, too.
(Food and shelter and medical care for free? With MY tax dollars? No way.)
Now, there are a few people we might be able to take care of because my buddies in the church think they’re worth it. But the rest of the people — the people the church can’t or won’t reach? Or the ones who refuse to listen to our attempts to indoctrinate them or make them bow down to the Lord God Almighty? The ones we see as too lazy? We shouldn’t be under an obligation to be bothered with them. They’re worthless, as far as we’re concerned.
So, at first I thought the solution would be to simply shoot them, y’know, so they’d take away as little money from us hard-working Americans as possible. So they don’t annoy us by asking for money, and they don’t take handouts from our food stamp President, and we don’t have to pay tax on them at all. It’d make morning walks so much more pleasant, don’t you think?
But there’s a problem with that, obviously.
Unfortunately, guns (and bullets and ammo) cost money. A lot of money, cause we’d need a few million bullets. And we’d have to pay people to shoot them, etc. It’d be a real headache.
So I propose gas chambers as a more cost-effective method. It’s pretty straightforward, fairly cost effective. We could eliminate lazy leeches in them by the thousands.
Then we’d have a couple options. We could incinerate the bodies after they die from the fumes. That would pay part of the cost, possibly, as hard working Americans might be able to use the ashes for gardens to grow daffodils and things — much less of an eyesore than homeless people. However…I do hear that human meat is considered, at times, a delicacy — it tastes a bit like pork. I’m thinking that if we gas the parents first and let the children watch; then we can use the salt from the children’s tears to cure the meat and send it back to people’s homes as a good return on their investment.
The best part of this is that it would probably serve as a strong incentive for lazy bums sucking off the government’s teets to go and get a job if they want to be valuable enough to not be gassed to death.
Because, honestly — that unemployed single mother with three kids is worth more baked on a hard-working American’s plate than alive (and it’s not my fault she couldn’t keep a man who made good enough money to support them satisfied — honestly, where are the fathers? Doing this might give them a stronger incentive to stay.)
This will teach lazy people that they need to WORK for a living. Pull themselves up by their own bootstraps, so they can keep their grubby hands off our lives.
Amiright?
It’s really the best route. Much better than doing something like this:
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyQcXfslc6c[/youtube]